Friday, January 20, 2012

Rangers Recap/Canadiens Preview

I was wrong. I admit, I didn't think for a second that the Penguins would win last night's game, so it's time to introduce the pleasantly surprised face:

Sometimes, I'm happy to be wrong, especially when things turn out better for me than I had anticipated. However, it's a little odd when your incorrectness is broadcast to whoever wants to read it. 

When Jedi Knight Sidney Crosby went down with another concussion (or the re-emergence of the last one?), it seemed the Republic would fall into the hands of the dark side. When all seemed lost, Yoda bestowed a piece of knowledge upon us, that would change this season forever....

"There is another..."
This is Evgeni Malkin fighting Darth Maul.

Geno had two goals, including one that forced Lundqvist to turn in his two week notice. 5 shots, 18 minutes played, +2. At 54 points, Malkin is two points ahead of Henrik Sedin for the lead in the NHL. Everything's looking good for Geno right now.

With good goaltending from Fleury, and a solid return game from Letang, the Pens looked awesome. 

Speaking of Letang, mid-game, Bob Errey and Paul Steigerwald mentioned that he we helped along in his recovery by a Dr....Shapoo? Shampoo? Dr. Shampoo? Like I'd pass up the opportunity!

As someone so accurately stated, that's what he gets for using Suave. Go Head and Shoulders. 


Interesting thing I noticed today. while looking up the scoring leaders, I found out that Boston's backup goaltender, Tukka Rask, is leading the NHL in save % and goals against average. What's really interesting is that he looks a lot like Jake Hassenfeldt's brother, Charlie!

I'd link to a picture of Chuck, but I think that's frowned upon.

I'm going to be extremely honest, I'm phoning it in for the Canadiens preview. 

First off, I'm going to call them the Habs, since people who "know" hockey also know that nobody really calls them the Canadiens. 

Carey Price is good goaltender, but he also has a tendency to do things like this:

Yeah, instead of a water bottle, Price keeps Colt 45 on the net for when he's thirsty.
Billy Dee Williams says "it's all good"

BDW was Lando Calrissian in Star Wars, so consider that two Star Wars references in one post.

The game is being played in Pittsburgh, so the standard chorus of "LE BOOOOOOOOOOO" that usually echoes throughout le Centre Bell will not be nearly as loud, though I'm sure if you listen hard enough, you'll still be able to hear the same people who wanted Chara arrested for attempting to murder Max Pacioretty. 

Even though the Montreal fans won't be as noticeable or detestable this time, you can still dislike PK Subban. If you watch him long enough, your head will explode, a fact which is not debatable. Crosby's concussion was actually caused during a film session, in which Dan Bylsma accidentally played footage of PK Subban. Sid didn't look away in was a big mess.

Or maybe it was this.....


As I said, I'm phoning it in. It's really difficult writing a combination recap/preview. I tend to simultaneously lose interest and think of so many things to say. I got Dr. Shampoo, two Star Wars references, Vanilla Price, and a a joke at my friend's brother's expense. I'll take it. 

The Habs suck. They're 17-21-8, and they're 13th in the East. A few weeks ago, the race seemed a lot tighter, but now, 12 points separate the Canadiens and the Pens. They've begun selling players, going so far as to trade Mike Cammalleri mid-game, to the shock of everyone. I really hope he was sad, because he's probably number 3 or 4 on my NHL shit-list. 

What I'm trying to say is Pens win, 3-2. Malkin (going for the 5 game goal streak), Letang, Dupuis. As Joey Ramone said, "second verse, same as the first". Go Pens.