Thursday, January 19, 2012

Pens vs Rangers....Dubinsky Hate.

Really, I'm not kidding when I say this: there is no player in the NHL I'd rather hit than Brandon Dubinsky. He's a whiny bitch, who's gone on tv a few times and complained about Crosby....complaining. If that makes any sense to you, hit yourself.

Not to mention his face. It's the most punchable face on earth. 

"Please hit me"

He looks like that annoying kid down the street who talks all sorts of smack about how awesome he is, and then one day, he "accidentally" falls off the jungle gym and runs home crying (after you got sick of his shit and threw him off). Later on, in high school, an assembly was held to say "kids, please stop bullying Brandon", even though the person speaking is holding back the urge to end it with "...even though he's a little twit".

Basically, I do not like the Rangers, Sam I am. They're the top team in the east, points-wise (even though Boston is an unstoppable machine, that makes women and children run screaming), and have insanely good goaltending from Henrik Lundqvist. "King Henrik" is 2nd in save percentage, and 3rd in goals against average. Nuts.

But there is hope. 

Evgeni Malkin is on a tear. He's leading the NHL in points scored, women stolen, and borscht consumed. The NHL doesn't take those last two stats into account all that often, but I consider them very important. I got your back, Geno.

"Moves Like 1992"

Kris Letang is finally returning from a concussion tonight. Unlike when Sid came back for a few games, the world will not stop spinning so everyone can marvel at his awesomeness. Also unlike Sid, Letang will probably be back for more than 9 games, so that's a good thing.

Drink up.

Unreal vitamin T

In all seriousness, the Penguins are on an upswing, and this game against the Rangers either couldn't come at a worse time, or at a better time. In one sense, a loss to this team would cut off the Pens' current win streak, and could set them back a bit in the morale department. Then again, no shame in losing to the best. A win against the Rangers would boost them into the confidence stratosphere. 

3-2 Pens win. Malkin, Cooke, Letang. I like the "returning from injury, and burying one" storyline too much to let it go.

1994, the last time the Rangers won the cup:

Yeah, it's Mark Messier in a towel, drinking a Red Stripe, grabbing Gary Coleman's ass. Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?