I've lied, cheated, stolen, broken the speed limit, drank underage, maybe rolled a few stop signs, accidentally caused the death of a woman (aided of course by her "do-not-resuscitate" clause), and stayed up past my bed time on many occasions. But it's all falling down around me.
Oh mama, I'm in fear for my life, from the long arm of the law.
.....And then some other words.....
The jig is up, the noose is out, they finally found me! The renegade who had it made was-
CUT THE MUSIC, CUT THE MUSIC!
It appears that SOME people have problems with the things I post. Some people....church groups, hate groups, Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Mexicans, Canadians, brown people, black people, green people, thing one, thing two, mother goose, Sam (I am not), the other fellow who actually likes green eggs and ham, Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, people who don't pay their bills, people who pay their bills early and then make you feel like a bum, people with one leg, people with no legs, country singers, jazz singers, Stephen Hawking's left wheels, Stephen Hawking's right wheels, Bert, Ernie, that fat kid from The Goonies, that fat kid from Stand By Me, and finally, Bono...
None of these people have a problem with me. Except the hate groups, probably. But we'll let that slide.
No no no, the one group that's got a problem with me is, of course, the NFL.
They got 99 problems, and people calling girls bitches is probably one of them. So is illegal use of marijuana, PEDs, drunk driving, vehicular homicide, aggravated assault, domestic abuse, alleged rape, animal abuse, and murder.
But their biggest problem, obviously, is people STEALING THEIR STUFF. Now, I'm all for people getting money for the things they earned. The NFL, however, is a bit of a pain in the ass when it comes to their stuff.
Earlier, I wrote a post in which I decided to take a sharp u-turn and rip on the NFL for a few moments. I posted a picture of their logo at the end of this little section. The villagers laughed, and afterward, we had a pig roast and danced to the rhythmic sounds of their gazelle-skin drums.
Later on, I looked back to see if there were any comments that needed deleting because Nick Dillon enjoys saying bad words in my comments section. I found no such issues. Instead, I found this:
|....oh no you di'int|
I'm going to post an NFL logo in everything I do from now on. It'll be in blog posts, facebook posts, and instant messages. When I decorate a dessert at work, I'm going to draw it with chocolate syrup. When I piss in the snow, I will be sure to emblazon the NFL logo deep within that frosty mistress we call winter. Incidentally, I've become quite good at writing my name that way.
Actually, I'm not going to do any of this. But still, what the hell, NFL? You ruined a good joke with your humorless take on copyright laws. I guess the only jokes the NFL likes are the ones they come up with themselves.