I think I've mellowed in my old age.
I just went back and read some of the stuff I posted way back. Actually, my last post was a long time ago, so really, anything I wrote could fall under that umbrella.
Speaking of umbrellas, is it ever going to stop raining?
Anyways, I read my old stuff, and while I got a good laugh from a lot of it, I also cringed at my writing style, which I'm pleased to say has changed in many ways. Some good, some bad. I feel that it would be foolhardy and arrogant to say what the good changes have been, since this would merely be opinion-based, and I could easily wind up with someone saying "HEY, YOU WERE NEVER FUNNY!". And while I would doubtlessly dismiss their opinion as being worth about the same as the Vietnamese Dong (2014's least valuable currency, via The Telegraph)(ed. note: Haha. Dong.), I think it would be more legitimate to speak upon the firm footing of fact, rather than opinion. Which brings me to...
As far as Lee Van Cleef (the "bad," of course) goes, I find that my motivation to write is becoming increasingly fleeting. I simply don't have ideas anymore, which I think can be attributed to my job. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy it sometimes, and I find it highly rewarding to learn a new skill from time to time. However, there's something about 12 hour shifts on my feet for less money than I feel I am worth, cutting myself with chef's knives by accident, and burning off the hair on the back of my arms (seriously, these babies are smoooooth) that stifles my creativity.
This sounds like complaining, I'm sure, and I apologize for that. And indeed, some of you are saying "then do something about it". And so I am!
Lately, I've devoted the vast majority of my free time to applying for jobs, networking, and keeping my eyes peeled for any job openings that pique my interest. Truly, I fluctuate between seemingly-unshakeable optimism and the depths of despair when I consider my professional future. However, I am approaching the situation with the same attitude I try to employ when I'm at work and 20 orders are erupting from the ticket machine at the same time: tomorrow shall come.
That's the mantra I use to tell myself that as crappy as things seem right now, the reality is that tomorrow will eventually arrive, and all is not lost. There's never been a situation in my life that I haven't been able to eventually look back upon, favorably or otherwise (Disclaimer: this does not include current situations, obviously, since I don't have the benefit of being able to exist in the future without that future becoming the present).
Therefore, I'm going to keep working on this whole job situation to the best of my abilities. There was a time that I didn't really care, contrary to what I may have said, because I always felt like something would just happen for me. Then I looked around and realized "oh crap, I was wrong! This sucks!".
One of my goals is to find a job with normal hours, which allows my creativity to flow again. I credit this desire to one of my friends who continues to paint as a hobby. I envy that, because as I look around and see people who used to have a "thing," but do not anymore due to being swept up by adulthood, this friend sticks out as someone who still has that thing to keep her occupied and, I would assume, leaves her feeling somewhat more fulfilled as a result. A lot of people look at the professional achievements of others as the qualities that make them a successful individual, and I think that's part of it. But I think an often uncredited aspect of success is maintaining the ability to just do what makes you happy.
Thanks for reading. I hope to be a more frequent eyesore on your computer screen.