Monday, February 6, 2012

Using My Forum To Whine About My Foot.

I'm pretty certain I broke my toe today.

At the moment, it's a lovely shade of purple and blood. Blood is not my favorite color.

Actual photo of my foot

Basically, I'm the manliest man of all time. When it happened, I simply ignored it, put a sock on, tied up my shoes, and went to class. Along the way, I stopped to jog in place, ninja kick seven people, and execute a ballet maneuver.

The truth is, I took a bunch of advil, hobbled to class, wincing all the way, and in typical Will fashion, am generally being a big baby about it. The old saying that whenever something is hurt, it can and will hit everything around you is true. I now fear uneven spaces between sections of the sidewalk.

What even happened to me? Well, I dropped my computer on my foot, corner-first. It was a fun, bloody event, and I'm kind of glad it happened. The concrete my computer would have landed on had it not been for my foot, is much harder than the squishy bag of bones I walk on.

The reason I'm writing this is because a kid in my class also broke a bone in his foot this weekend. After asking, it turns out to be the same toe as me. He was drinking and dropped a full handle of vodka on his foot. That's not important. What IS important is that he's walking around on crutches. All I did was wrap it with some hockey tape. Man up, Francis. 

I could watch this all day.

To get my money's worth out of this momentary pain, I'll probably lay on the couch and moan in hyperbolic agony until somebody gives me attention. Eventually, someone will say "can I get you anything?".  Yes, I think I would like a Coke. And a sponge bath. Could you do my laundry? How about my homework?

If I don't make it through my debilitating injury, know that I love you all, but to varying degrees. Some of you, not at all. Some of you are tolerable, but only in small doses.

But everybody likes Pancakes, the Manatee.