Friday, February 17, 2012

Daniel Day Lewis Tribute Day

I've spent the afternoon watching "Gangs of New York". When I woke up, I turned on "Youngblood," which stars Rob Lowe as a junior hockey player. It's a ridiculous movie, but you get to see his hot girlfriend naked, so I guess that's a plus. In the end, Rob Lowe gets into a stick fight with some huge dude named Racki, and wins. In real life, Lowe would be carried out on a stretcher.

Yeah, Sodapop (The Outsiders) loses this one.

Anyways, I had heard before that Daniel Day Lewis, one of the stars of "Gangs" is completely insane, and never comes out of character when filming a movie. A search of Lewis on google images confirmed this.

Upon further investigation of his wikipedia, I learned the following (each will be ranked on a scale of 1-5 DanielDayLudicrous points): 

-In his first case of absurd eccentricity, DDL was cast as the lead role in a film entitled "My Left Foot," for which he won the Academy Award for best actor. During the filming of the movie, he refused to leave his wheelchair, on set and off, in order to understand the hardship experienced by the real-life man he portrayed. While filming, he broke two ribs, due to the hunched position he remained in for months, while in his wheelchair. For breaking his ribs and pissing off everyone in the cast by having to lift him over wires and lights on set, he receives 3 DanielDayLudicrous points.

-In 1989, DDL was scheduled to play Hamlet, but collapsed onstage in the first showing of the play, due to "seeing his father's ghost" in much the same way that drove the titular character mad in the play, itself. 5 DanielDayLudicrous points for legitimate insanity.

-While filming "Last of the Mohicans," he lived in the woods, hunting and fishing in order to feed himself. He also learned how to skin animals and carried a long rifle with him at all times. Yawn. 1 DanielDayLudicrous point. I must state that for anybody else, this would be completely ridiculous, but we're dealing with someone who's completely off their rocker, here.

-Finally, DDL's preparation for "Gangs" was also completely nuts. For months of filming, Lewis refused to drop his accent or character, wearing 1860's clothing, including a top hat, even in the streets of New York City. Eventually he caught pneumonia, as it was winter, yet refused to seek medical treatment until being persuaded to do so by others on set. He also took lessons with a butcher, so that he knew exactly how to kill each and every one of us, presumably. 4 DanielDayLudicrous points. 

Someone in Times Square stepped on his toe.
All they found of him was an ear.

There are several other tales of the man's insanity, but I didn't feel like telling all that I know...or typing it all. After a while, you probably to get the deal. He just finished up filming for "Lincoln," a biopic about the 16th President of the US. I would assume that during filming, he attempted to abolish slavery at least 47 times, and lived in a log cabin built in the middle of DC.

Here are some roles I'd love for him to play, given the shenanigans he could get himself into:

-John Hammond in a remake of "Jurassic Park," because I'm quite certain he'd obsess over the creation of dinosaurs, to the point of them becoming real and replacing the sad looking snow leopard at the Pittsburgh Zoo. I've spent 20 years looking at that sad leopard. Can we get it a new exhibit?

-Hannibal Lecter. He would undoubtedly get very into philosophy, art, and poetry, and would almost certainly eat at least 8 people. The headlines would be fascinating.

-The first zombie in a remake of "Night of the Living Dead," and only because I want to put my zombie survival skills to the test.

In the event of zombie apocalypse, I'm headed away from civilization, to a treehouse in the woods, where I will learn to hunt and skin animals, probably with a long rifle. In the end, it will come full circle, and I will be the new insane actor in Hollywood.

First there's my breakfast hibachi idea, and now I'm Hollywood's leading man. In my imagination, I'm making tons of cash.

I'm taking Jennifer Aniston to the after party. Finally.