Pens at Isles. Gameday 78.

The Islanders got the better of the Pens last game. Thing is, they could also beat the hell out of the Pens in golf, because they haven't missed a tee time since 2007. 

The Pens had the opportunity to choke the life out of the Islanders two nights ago, but forgot to show up. The Pittsburgh offense shelled Evgeni Nabokov worse than Berlin in 1945, but the defense got lost on the way to the arena, perhaps because somebody stole the GPS off Paul Martin.

I actually like Paul Martin, and I could have put the blame on any of the defensemen for that game. PaulMatinPowerball just happened to finish with the lowest +/- on the team, except for Craig Adams. I refuse to talk smack on Craig Adams.

While it was not the Penguins who landed the death-blow to the Islanders, they will be attending the funeral tonight.

And will be kind enough to leave a 9-iron and a Titleist.

It feels almost redundant to go over it again, but I'd be doing a disservice to anybody reading this if I didn't at least cover the basics. Here's the rundown:

-Flower's tied with Pekka Rinne for the league lead in wins, with 41.

-Geno's 9 points ahead of Steven Stamkos with a league-leading 99 points. He's getting 100 and 101 tonight. One goal, one assist.

-James Neal is 5th in the league with 78 points. Ray Shero got him AND Matt Niskanen for Alex Goligoski. The only thing I miss about Goose is sitting in front of the tv and screaming, "NO, YOU IDIOT! YOU ARE THE WORST THING THAT WAS EVER BIRTHED". I was wrong, though. The worst thing that was ever spawned on our lovely earth was Sarah McLaughlin, for those sad commercials. Sorry for being so harsh, Goose.

-Sid's points per game is off the charts, with 25 points in 16 games. He'll have 28 points by the end of the night. Why?

Pittsburgh's going to crush the Islanders 5-1. 

I have nothing more to say. Make this happen, gents.